


Amnesia

by aidenkingscholar



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Depressed Hop (Pokemon), M/M, Memory Loss, Secret Crush, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:22:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27806767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aidenkingscholar/pseuds/aidenkingscholar
Summary: Hop could not remember anything before Victor, but his only wish was to keep all his memories with him. To always see him smiling like this, even if just in his mind. To treasure him like the rare jewel he is. If possible, forever.
Relationships: Hop & Masaru | Victor, Hop/Masaru | Victor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Amnesia

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings, this was heavily inspired by "Amnesia" by Kai, so do forgive me if it's a little ooc ㅠㅠ  
> Hope you enjoy it!

When Hop glanced at Victor, he couldn't help but sigh. All these feelings of not fitting in, not being good enough for his friends, not stepping on their level, could fade away just for a second.

It took just one smile, lasting very few seconds, to make his heart stop.

His mind was full of confusion at most times, failing at the attempt of recalling his youth. Certain events were nothing but a messy blur, and others (even when other people brought them up) did not exist. Hop knew these memory issues were connected to his feelings of inadequacy. Because no matter how much he didn't know about his life, the feeling of not being good enough was always there. He clung to them, as hard as he could, perhaps hoping they would help him improve. Yet they never did, only increasing his anxiety, repeating terrible things for himself under his breath, stopping and dismissing any sort of encouragement anyone could provide for him.

For as long as he has known Victor, he has tried so hard not to be a hindrance to him. He went as far as travelling separate ways, refusing to create memories together, just so Victor could have a better chance on his own.

Truthfully, what could Hop offer? He lacked a great amount of training, and could not live up to his brother's prestige. Every day, he worked hard to overcome these difficulties so he could one day be on his friends' level. But every day, he failed them, and he failed himself.

He was one constant, massive failure, with no hopes of improving.

Just like his past, his future also seemed blurry. It was a concerning thought, crawling at the back of his head, yet it became unstoppable as time went by. He couldn't recall a time in which he did not feel like giving up, like his efforts were completely worthless, like he was nothing but a waste of—

But there it was. Victor was laughing, looking endearing while petting his Pokemon. Even when it wasn't a cure for his worrisome intrusive thoughts, it felt... Like the entire world could stop for a single second.

He felt like running towards him, holding him close and telling him how much he means to him. The knot forming in his throat would loosen up for a second, only if Victor had the kindness of saying Hop's name with a wide smile. He was happy to see him, even when Hop wasn't happy to be there. That itself had to mean something good.

Life wasn't resulting easy for Hop, and his attempts to isolate himself from his friends could only make things worse. But these little sparks of joy, precious and to be treasured like the lush grass, could help him breathe for a second. Even when his instincts begged him to back away, to hide and to punish himself further for his inadequate acting, he found himself enjoying Victor's voice, yearning for his laugh when they were apart.

Hop could not remember anything before Victor, but his only wish was to keep all his memories with him. To always see him smiling like this, even if just in his mind. To treasure him like the rare jewel he is. If possible, forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
